From the category archives:

Humour

A “Ponzi crawl”

by jolyonpatten on December 19, 2008

A pub crawl whereby a new person is added at each location and has to buy a round. Each new person is promised that they will get free drinks at all the future bars if they buy this round. Obviously, last person to join the ponzi crawl gets screwed. “Made-up Madoff News”, via anonymous e-mail.

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The chargeable hour, Italian-style

by jolyonpatten on December 12, 2008

An unusual case in Italy rested on an allegation of double trouble: identical twin sisters were prosecuted for a long-running scam in which one allegedly filled in for the other at work. Gabriela Odisio, a lawyer and part-time judge from Magenta, allegedly used her sister Patrizia to impersonate her when she was double-booked, allowing her [...]

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Pirates to back Citigroup?

by jolyonpatten on November 24, 2008

This just in on the e-mail: Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup. November 20 (Bloomberg) — The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup. The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned from hijacking numerous [...]

Mierda de caballo

by jolyonpatten on November 9, 2008

From the always wonderful PJ O’Rourke comes this simple person’s take on how we got into this mess: Brokerages were saying, “We’re going to sell you a room full of horse s–. And with that much horse s–, you just know there’s a pony in there somewhere.”

Banks in trouble shock!

by jolyonpatten on October 16, 2008

I’ve refrained from commenting on the global financial turmoil for the most part, and I know one should really be trying to put words of wisdom together, but frankly it’s all gone so mad that I’m beginning to think the Daily Mash have the right idea: http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/banks-fucked-20080424901/ Julian Cook, an analyst at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: “Remember [...]

BA sat corpse in first class

by jolyonpatten on September 4, 2008

I came across this story in an edition of the Times from 2007. Basically, this guy awoke to find the staff manouevring into the seat next to him the body of a little old lady who had died shortly after take off. Leaving aside the self-pitying reaction of the passenger–”I’m paying £3,000 for this“–parts of the [...]

The future of business travel?

by jolyonpatten on August 19, 2008

Good post and better comments from the Economist on how the free market may change business (esp. air) travel in the future. We are currently 45th in line to take off and running a bit late. However, our handsome pilot has just negotiated, for you, dear passenger, a private insurance waiver with a Nigerian E-Finance minister [...]

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Senior Partners

by jolyonpatten on January 28, 2008

I heard that a Senior Partner of a leading City practice avers to his colleagues that the reason he gets in at 10.30am and leaves at 4pm is because “the season ticket is cheaper” at that time. Hmm. That’s a firm on the up-and-up, I’d say, though I confess to some admiration for the tenacity [...]

How to solve problems

by jolyonpatten on January 17, 2008

This problem-solving algorithm from Richard Feynman is one of my favourite–pithy but not wholly inaccurate: Write down the problem. Think very hard. Write down the solution. You could sometimes wish that people would apply it, couldn’t you.

BS indicators

by jolyonpatten on October 10, 2007

Merlin Mann runs 43 Folders (a very good site on productivity, GTD etc). He also runs 5ives, in which he posts sporadically about 5 funny, semi-made-up things. Recently he had “5 nouns from which it can be difficult to scrub the scent of utter bullshit”: Performance Excellence Mission Statement Synergy Enterprise I don’t think you’ll find [...]