From the category archives:

Humour

Broking the football

by Jolyon on 23 June, 2010

Overheard outside the Aviva building just now, one broker chatting to another about his plans for the England v Slovenia match this afternoon: “Yeah, I’m just gonna leave my jacket on the back of the chair and duck out.“
I expect a lot of that today.
Good luck, England.

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Goldman case thoughts

by Jolyon on 26 April, 2010

Barry Ritholtz at the Think Tank has 10 Interesting Points to make about the SEC case against Goldman Sachs.
I especially like:
7. This is a Complex Case: Again, no. Parts of it are a little more sophisticated than others, but this is a simple case of fraud/misrepresentation. The most difficult part of this case is [...]

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Money “an illusion”

by Jolyon on 18 February, 2010

WASHINGTON—The U.S. economy ceased to function this week after unexpected existential remarks by Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke shocked Americans into realizing that money is, in fact, just a meaningless and intangible social construct.
Calling it “basically no more than five rectangular strips of paper,” Fed chairman Ben Bernanke illustrates how much “$200″ is actually worth.
What [...]

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Sitting Bull

by Jolyon on 10 September, 2009

No, not a reference to a tired and emotional broker who won’t be quiet, but a reflection of one of the minor joys of working for a US firm.
We all receive circular emails from time to time punting some sort of ‘must have’ service. Most of them are pretty pedestrian and more [...]

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A “Ponzi crawl”

by Jolyon on 19 December, 2008

A pub crawl whereby a new person is added at each location and has to buy a round. Each new person is promised that they will get free drinks at all the future bars if they buy this round. Obviously, last person to join the ponzi crawl gets screwed.
“Made-up Madoff News”, via anonymous e-mail.

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The chargeable hour, Italian-style

by Jolyon on 12 December, 2008

An unusual case in Italy rested on an allegation of double trouble: identical twin sisters were prosecuted for a long-running scam in which one allegedly filled in for the other at work. Gabriela Odisio, a lawyer and part-time judge from Magenta, allegedly used her sister Patrizia to impersonate her when she was double-booked, allowing her [...]

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Pirates to back Citigroup?

by Jolyon on 24 November, 2008

This just in on the e-mail:
Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup. November 20 (Bloomberg) — The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup. The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned from hijacking numerous [...]

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Mierda de caballo

by Jolyon on 9 November, 2008

From the always wonderful PJ O’Rourke comes this simple person’s take on how we got into this mess:
Brokerages were saying, “We’re going to sell you a room full of horse s–. And with that much horse s–, you just know there’s a pony in there somewhere.”

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Banks in trouble shock!

by Jolyon on 16 October, 2008

I’ve refrained from commenting on the global financial turmoil for the most part, and I know one should really be trying to put words of wisdom together, but frankly it’s all gone so mad that I’m beginning to think the Daily Mash have the right idea:
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/banks-fucked-20080424901/
>Julian Cook, an analyst at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: “Remember that bit [...]

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BA sat corpse in first class

by Jolyon on 4 September, 2008

I came across this story in an edition of the Times from 2007.
Basically, this guy awoke to find the staff manouevring into the seat next to him the body of a little old lady who had died shortly after take off.
Leaving aside the self-pitying reaction of the passenger–”I’m paying £3,000 for this“–parts of the [...]

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